Wanna buy a vibrator in Alabama? Sorry, no can do.
Need to outfit your entire family in firearms? You're in luck! Alabama is totally down with that!
My mom's friend, Sherri,
who owns a couple of sex toy stores in my fair -- albeit nauseatingly puritanical and super uptight -- little ville, has been valiantly battling in the courts for almost a decade to have a ban on the sale of sex toys ("any device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs for anything of pecuniary value") in Alabama overturned, arguing that the law is a violation of privacy. Recently the Supreme Court refused to hear her case, so the ban stands.
Consequently our friend Sherri is in a big pickle. (I wonder if she is allowed to sell big pickles?) Now, in order to sell sex toys in her stores, buyers will have to agree to sign a statement saying they will be used for a "bona fide medical" purpose only. Which is ridiculous, no? I mean what possible "medical" purpose could there be for, say, a strap-on dildo, nipple clamps or anal beads?
Sherri better be careful, though, because the punishment for selling those dreaded and dangerous "marital aids" is up to a year in jail and a $10,000 fine for a first offense. A second offense carries a prison sentence of one to 10 years! Can you imagine sitting in jail for selling a butt plug and having to explain that to your murdering, thieving jail mates?
Sigh. I guess it's another one to file under, "Only in 'Bama." (Well, not only in 'Bama; Georgia, Mississippi and Texas have similar laws.)
Some Hollywood dudes have recently been following Sherri around town with cameras. They are going to try to pitch her one-woman-battle-for-the-god-given-right-to-pleasure-oneself as a reality TV show. If that happens, you may just see my very own mother on national television caught on camera curiously fondling a large and rather elaborate, confusing and intimidating "self-stimulation device" in one of Sherri's stores, whilst my stepfather is seen proudly brandishing a handgun he keeps on his person at all times to illustrate that, in Alabama, guns = A-OK! and vibrators = The Devil. Mom and I are sort of hoping that show never makes it off the ground.
My mom's friend, Sherri,
who owns a couple of sex toy stores in my fair -- albeit nauseatingly puritanical and super uptight -- little ville, has been valiantly battling in the courts for almost a decade to have a ban on the sale of sex toys ("any device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs for anything of pecuniary value") in Alabama overturned, arguing that the law is a violation of privacy. Recently the Supreme Court refused to hear her case, so the ban stands.
Consequently our friend Sherri is in a big pickle. (I wonder if she is allowed to sell big pickles?) Now, in order to sell sex toys in her stores, buyers will have to agree to sign a statement saying they will be used for a "bona fide medical" purpose only. Which is ridiculous, no? I mean what possible "medical" purpose could there be for, say, a strap-on dildo, nipple clamps or anal beads?
Sherri better be careful, though, because the punishment for selling those dreaded and dangerous "marital aids" is up to a year in jail and a $10,000 fine for a first offense. A second offense carries a prison sentence of one to 10 years! Can you imagine sitting in jail for selling a butt plug and having to explain that to your murdering, thieving jail mates?
Sigh. I guess it's another one to file under, "Only in 'Bama." (Well, not only in 'Bama; Georgia, Mississippi and Texas have similar laws.)
Some Hollywood dudes have recently been following Sherri around town with cameras. They are going to try to pitch her one-woman-battle-for-the-god-given-right-to-pleasure-oneself as a reality TV show. If that happens, you may just see my very own mother on national television caught on camera curiously fondling a large and rather elaborate, confusing and intimidating "self-stimulation device" in one of Sherri's stores, whilst my stepfather is seen proudly brandishing a handgun he keeps on his person at all times to illustrate that, in Alabama, guns = A-OK! and vibrators = The Devil. Mom and I are sort of hoping that show never makes it off the ground.
posted by S.T. at 8:45 AM
1 Comments:
Can I tell you how much I love you for this post? Well, it's A LOT!
I'm in AL myself and have heard of this rather ridiculous law. Hmmm, here in Mobile, though, you can buy a dildo if you so choose along with an array of other fun sex toys. Not that I know anything about that. Nope, not anything at all.
A friend sent me your link, glad she did.
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